House Parties

There is the Tupperware Party, Pampered Chef Party, Candle Party and even the Pleasure Party.

Who knew there is now a Gerber House Party? Yes, Gerber, as in the baby food people.

I am on a mailing list for Gerber, mostly to receive money saving coupons for baby food. Today I rec’d an email for a Gerber House Party (www.houseparty.com/gerber).

I laughed out loud.

The email shows a happy woman playing with her baby with the tag line “Learn. Laugh. Share.” It then states that you can share the latest in baby nutrition and development and learn the benefits of DHA for your baby. Lastly it also includes what all partygoers will receive.

I’ll admit the some of the give-a-ways are good – baby food, baby cereal, and a soft bite spoon. But then they list: Anything for Baby(tm) button and a feeding plan document.

Who wears buttons these days? I haven’t seen a button since the one that came with my soccer photo package in 1978. Children of the 70’s and 80’s will remember those. We made our parents wear them on their windbreakers or on their caps.

But I digress.

Call me a bad mother, but sitting around talking about the benefits of DHA and the latest feeding plan that Gerber recommends in not a party! Yawn!

Instead get a group of woman and add alcohol, food and no babies, and that’s a party! Especially a new mother who hasn’t slept through the night since before her baby was born. Since before she was pregnant.

Yes, bring on the wine and girly chatter and maybe even the latest toys to spice up your sex life, and there’s a party!

I’d bet money that she’d feel a hell of a lot better after that party than a Gerber House Party.

Good vs. Evil

This is an age old struggle – Good vs. Evil. It’s all around us with the war in Iraq and today’s bombing in Pakistan.

I never expected it would emerge as: PB&J or a hot dog for Big Boy’s lunch.

There I was, with my hand on the fresh, new package of Ball Park Franks in the deli drawer, and I pulled it away. Oh, bad! Evil! I thought, I can’t send that in my kid’s lunch. What will our day care provider think? That’s bad food.

I know, I know, I’m a grown woman. Who cares what others think. And I know my day care provider wouldn’t care. Kids eat hot dogs. It’s not going to kill him. And I know there are far worse things I can do to my kid than feed him a hot dog.

But the Good vs. Evil debate played out in my brain. Must be that Catholic upbringing.

The “Good” voice says: Feed the kids a healthy well balanced diet, one that doesn’t include potassium lactate and partially hydrolyzed beef stock. Yuck! What is that anyway?

The “Evil” voice says: Just throw in the hot dog. So much faster and I’ll be done with lunches 3 minutes sooner. (Hey, for a mom, three extra minutes equals a couple quick articles in a girly magazine or a short chapter of chick-lit!)

So for a couple seconds I pondered it back and forth…

Big Boy got PB&J on wheat.

And I didn’t learn the latest trend in fashion or how to have fabulous abs with just 10 minutes a day.

Hey, I told you I was raised Catholic.

Early bird gets the chatterbox

Up today at 5:30 a.m. Realized I had a sexy dream featuring me and my husband. I was savoring the morsels in my brain, blistful, when I hear thud, thud, thud down the stairs. Bathroom door swings open. "Good morning Mom! I had a good night's sleep," Lil' Type A (LTA) states proudly. Then she proceeds to narrate how she she's got to go potty, and then she's going to put make-up on and then she's going to play with her dolls and then...

Ugh! It is now 5:35 a.m.

Quickly I was forced from recollecting my sexy dream as a wife, to Momland. I am not even awake yet. This is my quiet time. I've usually got 15 - 20 minutes to myself in the AM before my husband joins me in our tiny bathroom to start his day.

But thank God, LTA was in a good mood. She kept herself entertained until I had a chance to embrace Momland and start my day.

As the morning wore on my memories of my sexy dream are harder to recollect. Instead my mind and mouth is filled with: "I've got to iron my clothes then LTA, you need to get dressed, eat breakfast then I've got to get Big Boy up and dressed, then we are leaving. So be ready. Eat your breakfast. Get your sweater and jacket, please. Get your milk. Let's go, let's go, we are going to be late."

And it's only 6:45 a.m.