Connections

Recently read an article suggesting you make a pie chart of your life, showing how much you dedicate to each part of your life. I mentally went through the exercise, and like the author, a good chunk of my pie goes to feeding, dressing and caring for my kids, work, chores around the house, with a little time for me, with even less for time with my husband and/or friends.
I thought, wow, that is sad.

So I made a lunch date with my dearest girlfriend, visited my 93 yr old grandfather, spend time hanging out with my daughter, went for a walk, watched “Up in the Air” with my husband and colored with my son… and it was great, however, it left me feeling sad and wanting more.
I realized how much “life” gets in the way. When I say “life” I mean, the things we have to do like grocery shop, work, wash dishes, etc. When really, that isn’t living. Well it is, on autopilot.
I want more of the life that is really living. Where you really connect with others. I want less of the five minutes at the end of the day when my husband and I are so exhausted, we try to sum up all of the days experiences and observations before our heads hit the pillow. Or in between the kids fighting or while he’s trying to figure out why the damn dishwasher is still making that awful sound. The life that comes over drinks, good food, sharing, laughing – life full of connections!

Now wise woman, and maybe some men, will tell me that you have to find those moments in the life you have. Yes there are glimpses of it in a shared laugh with a friend, a hug from my husband. But nothing can compare to that feeling you get after a dinner with a girlfriend, when you have been talking for two hours, and you haven’t thought about all the things you need to get done. Or after a date night with my husband, when we laugh and actually get to have a conversation w/out 20 interruptions and he doesn’t think about all the projects to do at home.
I want more of that.

It can be described as a feeling of escape. Where no worries in your life are present. Where you forget about the dirty dishes and the five loads of laundry that need folding and washing. You forget about the five projects on your desk at work that you should have had done several weeks ago.

Some people like Alex in “Up in the Air,” escape with other people. Some drink or exercise. Others escape with their careers.

Whatever it is, we should all find our escape now and then. I think it makes you a healthier, stronger, more well balance person when you come out the other side. And when it is over, and you feel a bit sad, because you want more, make an appointment to connect with someone. Or even better, find a way to make those connections in everyday life over dirty dishes and laundry. In between cries of “He took my toy!” and “She won’t let me play in her room!” If you can figure out how to do that, please let me know your secret. I am still trying to balance the pie chart of my life.