Connections

Recently read an article suggesting you make a pie chart of your life, showing how much you dedicate to each part of your life. I mentally went through the exercise, and like the author, a good chunk of my pie goes to feeding, dressing and caring for my kids, work, chores around the house, with a little time for me, with even less for time with my husband and/or friends.
I thought, wow, that is sad.

So I made a lunch date with my dearest girlfriend, visited my 93 yr old grandfather, spend time hanging out with my daughter, went for a walk, watched “Up in the Air” with my husband and colored with my son… and it was great, however, it left me feeling sad and wanting more.
I realized how much “life” gets in the way. When I say “life” I mean, the things we have to do like grocery shop, work, wash dishes, etc. When really, that isn’t living. Well it is, on autopilot.
I want more of the life that is really living. Where you really connect with others. I want less of the five minutes at the end of the day when my husband and I are so exhausted, we try to sum up all of the days experiences and observations before our heads hit the pillow. Or in between the kids fighting or while he’s trying to figure out why the damn dishwasher is still making that awful sound. The life that comes over drinks, good food, sharing, laughing – life full of connections!

Now wise woman, and maybe some men, will tell me that you have to find those moments in the life you have. Yes there are glimpses of it in a shared laugh with a friend, a hug from my husband. But nothing can compare to that feeling you get after a dinner with a girlfriend, when you have been talking for two hours, and you haven’t thought about all the things you need to get done. Or after a date night with my husband, when we laugh and actually get to have a conversation w/out 20 interruptions and he doesn’t think about all the projects to do at home.
I want more of that.

It can be described as a feeling of escape. Where no worries in your life are present. Where you forget about the dirty dishes and the five loads of laundry that need folding and washing. You forget about the five projects on your desk at work that you should have had done several weeks ago.

Some people like Alex in “Up in the Air,” escape with other people. Some drink or exercise. Others escape with their careers.

Whatever it is, we should all find our escape now and then. I think it makes you a healthier, stronger, more well balance person when you come out the other side. And when it is over, and you feel a bit sad, because you want more, make an appointment to connect with someone. Or even better, find a way to make those connections in everyday life over dirty dishes and laundry. In between cries of “He took my toy!” and “She won’t let me play in her room!” If you can figure out how to do that, please let me know your secret. I am still trying to balance the pie chart of my life.

Craziness and the like

The new school year has started, and we decided to start potty training our son this week.


I think we are crazy.


I didn't put two and two together until tonight when I needed to be in two rooms at the same time -the bathroom with my son and the kitchen with my daughter. So my husband and I tag-teamed a bit.


On top of everything, there's dinner and homework and life to be lived. And now lunches and dishes. It never ends.


I am crazy.


But we made it through. My son did great for his first day of no diapers. No accidents! He's still not sure of the whole "underwear" concept, but he's getting there.

Ear infections, conjunctivitus and the like...

By Wed. of this week, our family of four had visited a doctor's office each once. Lil' Type A for ear infections, Big Boy for eye infections and Mom and Dad each for sinus infections.

We alone are keeping the pharmacutical companies in business.

What's with germs this year? It's been back to back sicknesses for the last 6-8 weeks.

We eat well, take our vitamins, exercise (well three of us do), but we still get sick. It is crazy how many germs the little kids can carry. I've often thought - I wish I could just keep them in a bubble and no one would get sick...

But with my luck they'd get some rare virus that you can only get from living in a bubble.

I know, I know, things could be much worse, and believe me, I am grateful that they aren't.

But sometimes it feels good to just bitch about it. Even for a little while.

Feel free to join me! You'll feel great afterwards.

A different kind of cup

Last I wrote, it was all about the cheery red Starbuck's Cup.



This week it the sippy cup. A sippy cup thrown across the room, in the middle of the night.



Yes, the other day at 12:30 a.m. Lil' Type A hurled her cup across the room because it wasn't the one she wanted. My husband thought she was asleep when she did this. I knew better, because she knew what she was doing. She talked about after the tantrum was over.



Why she chose to express herself this way IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT is a mystery to me. Was she asleep, dreaming about the cup she wanted, woke up to discover all wasn't right in the universe and became angry? Who the @#$%&%#$ knows!



All I know is that at 12:30 a.m., I've already been asleep for a couple hours (on a good day) and to be awaken to screeming and a flying cup, well, that's not my idea of a fun night.



After 10 minutes (which seemed like a half hour to me), Lil' Type A gave in, accepted the sippy cup and was calm again. Her universe was at peace.



And then she said, "I want six hugs and kisses, twice, from both you and dad, please."



Who can resist that?

Starbucks Red Cups!

It’s official – It’s the start of the Holiday Season.

Today my Starbucks coffee was delivered in a cheerful red holiday cup. I love these cups. They say to me “Smile, it is the Holiday Season!” And in such a crazy time with shopping, cooking, holiday parties and such, it reminds me to take a deep breath and remember that the Holidays are supposed to be fun!

It was a good start to a busy day.

Then, I popped over to the Mall today at lunch to discover Santa is already there! Yes, people, it is Nov. 9 and Santa is at the Mall.

Shouldn't he be in the North Pole still!

I'm OK with the red cups, but Santa in early November, that is just wrong. However, if you want your kids photo taken with Santa, now is the time to go. There was no line.

So Mom's and Grandma's grab a Starbucks coffee and go sit on Santa's lap!

House Parties

There is the Tupperware Party, Pampered Chef Party, Candle Party and even the Pleasure Party.

Who knew there is now a Gerber House Party? Yes, Gerber, as in the baby food people.

I am on a mailing list for Gerber, mostly to receive money saving coupons for baby food. Today I rec’d an email for a Gerber House Party (www.houseparty.com/gerber).

I laughed out loud.

The email shows a happy woman playing with her baby with the tag line “Learn. Laugh. Share.” It then states that you can share the latest in baby nutrition and development and learn the benefits of DHA for your baby. Lastly it also includes what all partygoers will receive.

I’ll admit the some of the give-a-ways are good – baby food, baby cereal, and a soft bite spoon. But then they list: Anything for Baby(tm) button and a feeding plan document.

Who wears buttons these days? I haven’t seen a button since the one that came with my soccer photo package in 1978. Children of the 70’s and 80’s will remember those. We made our parents wear them on their windbreakers or on their caps.

But I digress.

Call me a bad mother, but sitting around talking about the benefits of DHA and the latest feeding plan that Gerber recommends in not a party! Yawn!

Instead get a group of woman and add alcohol, food and no babies, and that’s a party! Especially a new mother who hasn’t slept through the night since before her baby was born. Since before she was pregnant.

Yes, bring on the wine and girly chatter and maybe even the latest toys to spice up your sex life, and there’s a party!

I’d bet money that she’d feel a hell of a lot better after that party than a Gerber House Party.

Good vs. Evil

This is an age old struggle – Good vs. Evil. It’s all around us with the war in Iraq and today’s bombing in Pakistan.

I never expected it would emerge as: PB&J or a hot dog for Big Boy’s lunch.

There I was, with my hand on the fresh, new package of Ball Park Franks in the deli drawer, and I pulled it away. Oh, bad! Evil! I thought, I can’t send that in my kid’s lunch. What will our day care provider think? That’s bad food.

I know, I know, I’m a grown woman. Who cares what others think. And I know my day care provider wouldn’t care. Kids eat hot dogs. It’s not going to kill him. And I know there are far worse things I can do to my kid than feed him a hot dog.

But the Good vs. Evil debate played out in my brain. Must be that Catholic upbringing.

The “Good” voice says: Feed the kids a healthy well balanced diet, one that doesn’t include potassium lactate and partially hydrolyzed beef stock. Yuck! What is that anyway?

The “Evil” voice says: Just throw in the hot dog. So much faster and I’ll be done with lunches 3 minutes sooner. (Hey, for a mom, three extra minutes equals a couple quick articles in a girly magazine or a short chapter of chick-lit!)

So for a couple seconds I pondered it back and forth…

Big Boy got PB&J on wheat.

And I didn’t learn the latest trend in fashion or how to have fabulous abs with just 10 minutes a day.

Hey, I told you I was raised Catholic.